Masochist or Matchmaker?
by Eclectic Grace
Summary: With unfortunate feelings for Tonks abounding, Remus makes an unusual decision on how to fight them. Little does he know that the farther you run from something, the closer you get to it. Three Parter.
1. Chapter 1

**_An/ So this is my first story. I don't own anything, and this is going to be a three parter, part two will be ready to post in a few days and the third part will be up as soon as the end of the week. Er, reviewing might be nice. This is a little scary because I never let anyone read what I write, but hey, we can't guarantee that anyone's going to read this anyway so here goes nothing._**

Remus Lupin was no stranger to temptation, in fact, he considered himself well acquainted with such things. There was just a certain amount of self awareness a man had to possess when he turned into a full-fledged monster once a month. So when Remus found himself with feelings that were more than platonic for a certain fellow order member, he had to do something about it.

The almost parasitic way Tonks had gotten under his skin was cause enough for alarm. He had felt attraction before but never to this extent. Sure it had started out innocuously enough, a cup of cocoa after patrol here, a conversation over breakfast there and before he could even notice, she had somehow worked herself into his routine. Now he found himself occupying an unhealthy amount of time in her company. It was selfish once he actually forced himself to make an account for it. Here he was, basking in the sunshine that she brought to his life where he had nothing he could really offer her.

It was only natural for him to have feelings like this, he had to remind himself. Tonks was young, beautiful and full of life; any man would die to have a chance with her. But he had to lead himself away from the temptation of starting down a path who could never dream to finish. It wasn't as though these feelings could lead to anything; Tonks was far too special to somehow fall prey to silly inclinations. Remus was sure she would never reciprocate feelings, but it wasn't enough for some reason. Lupin didn't much enjoy having the feeling of hope, it outright terrified him. Though he knew it would never happen, it still seemed like there was a secret plausibility to the idea of him and Tonks that he found disturbing; He needed to add a few more obstacles for safe measure, so in moments of weakness he still would know better than to try.

He had to do something, and whilst it seemed like a long shot, he had an idea.

* * *

"You're going to do what?" Sirius choked, spitting out an unfortunate amount of his firewhiskey.

"I'm simply going to try to set her up with Charlie Weasley, I have no idea what's not to understand about that." Remus shrugged, stirring his own cup of cocoa half-heartedly. The Order meeting had ended only an hour before but everyone had been quick to get home due to an impending rain shower, leaving only Remus and Sirius in the kitchen of Grimmauld place. The conversation had started out innocently enough, just Sirius's curiosity about why Remus had asked Molly when Charlie would next be in the country.

"Why?" A red faced Sirius demanded as he fought back another cough.

"Because Bill is dating that French Girl." Said Remus with an air as though it were entirely obvious.

"I'm sure Tonks would be touched by all the thought and consideration you've put into this. What if this Charlie thing doesn't work out, who next? Dung? Or maybe even Dumbledore himself?"

"Don't be silly, she and Kingsley have always had a good working relationship—" He began but was interrupted when one of Molly's left over blueberry muffins was hit him square on the forehead. Remus looked up at Sirius who sat gaping at the weary werewolf like he had sprouted an extra arm.

"You're an idiot." Sirius spat finally after a few moments of pregnant silences. Honestly, what part of setting Tonks up with Charlie was so difficult for him to understand?

"That's a shame to hear coming from the alleged mass murderer who's living in his mother's house." Lupin could feel himself blushing slightly and immediatly lowered his head to avoid his friend's gaze.

"Alleged mass murderer who's evaded capture for nearly two years. Face it Moony, even at my worst I'm still an evil genius." Sirius retorted with a wide smile.

"Evil maybe, genius-doubtful." Remus sighed under his breath, glancing up at Sirius through his hair, not daring to lift his head. If Sirius took offense to this he made no indication as he was encompassed in his own thoughts.

"Remus Lupin—Matchmaker," Sirius said, looking as if he was trying to envision to letter-head or lighted sign, his mouth pulled into a skeptical grin. "Sorry Moony, I don't see it. You ought to stick with teaching and leave this matchmaking rubbish to Molly." He leaned on his chair in a way that James could have managed, but would have been impossible for Lupin to replicate. Carelessness for the sake of appearances had never been Remus's strong suit.

"Well seeing as no school will have me, I'll have to make due elsewhere, and for the record, this isn't about a career option. Charlie's a nice guy who could have plenty in common with Tonks." Lupin shrugged with feigned indifference that was entirely unconvincing, he darted his eyes up to see the look of sheer doubt etched upon his friend's face before setting them permanently on his cocoa once again.

"Sorry, I must've missed it, but have you mentioned what happens to you since, you know, you want to shag her senseless?" He asked, tapping his fingers to him mouth in a rather pompous fashion.

Remus struggled for an answer. If he lied, Sirius probably wouldn't believe him, but if he told the truth, he would have to admit it to himself and that was something he wasn't sure he was ready to do. But in the end, the term 'know thyself' proved too potent to be banished and Remus braced himself for the unpleasant flood of emotions that came everytime he acknowledged his feelings.

"This is much for my benefit as hers. Where there's no hope, there's no temptation." Remus announced, still cautiously weighing this plan in his mind. He felt as the prickle of jealousy and hope simultaniously swelled within him, causing his own body to no longer be safe. He would just have to learn to deal with feeling like this, he'd be longing after her for a long time.

"You just keep on telling yourself that. You'll beg to differ when all the sudden your more lovesick than ever. Godric, you'll probably start eating away your emotions, Molly'll be thrilled. She's always looking for a way to fatten you up." Sirius was almost wistful at the idea, apparently thinking the idea of a round Remus too amusing to pass up.

"I'm glad that you're finding your amusement. I was afraid that you wouldn't be able to bend this for your own pleasure and I know how that upsets you." Remus retorted, still not looking up. Though he intended for the statement to drip with sarcasm, the current conversation left his sardonic resolve lacking.

"No actually, I think I will enjoy this." Sirius sighed listlessly. "The way I see it, this can only go down two ways. Option number one, you do such a half-arsed job that everyone see's through it and you're forced to give up, but not before the entire Order realizes what you're trying to do and then you'll have Molly on your tail."

"And option number two?" Asked Lupin as he scrounged up enough Gryffindor-style courage to look his mate in the eye.

"Option number two will serve you right for being a masochistic, self-sacrificing sod." Sirius smiled with unfailing superiority. "You'll somehow make this rubbish excuse of a plan work, and then you get to deal with the jealousy of watching Tonksie with another guy. It'll eat you alive, and you won't be able to complain about it because you'll be the hands that caused it."

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence." Remus remarked dryly. "I'm glad to see you think I have it in me."

"You always were good at ruining your own life." He replied with a dark expression that formed into a bit of a glower as Lupin surveyed it.

"What's that face for?"

"James." Sirius said, his face perking just slightly as he kicked his legs onto the table and tilted his chair even further back. Really, Remus thought to himself, did Padfoot have a death wish?

"What about him?" Remus managed to squeak. Whenever James came up in a conversation, it only ever ended two ways and one far more often than the other. Every once in a great while Sirius would take mentions of his old best mate in stride and would remember the good times and use them to help him through the rough days his life was now seeing. Far more often, Sirius would take it as cue to mourn and would do so in the manner he had always dealt with great emotional upheavals-drinking, porn, and sleeping until the late hours of the afternoon, none of which put him in a pleasant mood. But with the sincere smile plastered on his darkened, gaunt face, it seemed like the fates were on Remus's side for once.

"He'd hex you if he were here. Lily would too; I think it'd be the second time she's taken my side. It's like the what's-her-name situation all over again." He let out a strange, low noise that seemed to be a laugh.

"Collette Patterson." Lupin supplied, cringing slightly at the memory. "And this is entirely different—"

"Nah, you're being a self-sabotaging prick, it's more or less the same." Sirius grunted distractedly, apparently no longer fully invested in this conversation. "If you're sure you want to do this-"

"I don't need any help, thanks." Remus interrupted though touched by Sirius's support.

"-what can I do to talk you out of this?" Sirius finished at the same time with a smile.

"Nothing. This plan is perfect. Its all going to go perfect." Remus said, more trying to convince himself. "Everything is going to go perfect." Because for Remus, his heart was on the line, going perfectly was the only option. Or was it? He suddenly wasn't so sure anymore. All of this had sounded so good last night whilst he was racking his brain for solutions to his little _predicament, _but he was starting to find, maybe he wasn't as ready to give up his pink-haired friend as easily as he thought.

"For your own sake, I hope your wrong." Sirius replied, standing up from the table. "I really hope this is one of the times your wrong." Before Remus could reply and respond, Sirius had left the kitchen and took any comfort Remus had felt with him. All of the sudden, the feeling of foreboding washed over him, letting Lupin know that whilst this was possible, it was hardly going to be painless. Remus was alright with that, he would just have to learn how to stop feeling.

* * *

**_So, comments, anyone? _**


	2. Chapter 2

**_An/ Still don't own anything. Sorry to hurt your tender little hearts in such a way. Also, I should apologize that this took a little while to get up. The third part is almost done, but expect a similar, week long wait. _**

It was well into November before Remus had a chance to go through with the plot that he had obsessed about the last month and a half. It had become his anchor, the only thing that had kept him from being swept up in the tide of emotions that came flowed within him everytime he spent as much as a minute in Tonk's presence. For a while, he thought he was going to lose all of his resolve, but when Charlie walked into Grimmauld Place the two weeks after Halloween, the oppurtunity seemed far too beautiful to pass up.

"Charlie." Remus said with a startle. "You're early." And in truth he was, there was still another hour or two before the shadows of other Order members were set to darken the halls of Grimmauld Place.

"Hey Sirius, Remus." He said, nodding in Lupin's direction. Though Charlie seemed to have nothing against Remus, he hadn't really come to embrace the werewolf as much as the rest of his family. Not that it mattered to Remus, Charlie was the right guy for this predicament regardless. "I always seem to think that International Flooing will take longer than it does, figured it was best to wait it out here rather than go home and deal with Mum in a right panic getting dinner ready for the Order. Anyone else here yet?"

Remus shook his head in the negatory, feeling a little unsettled.

"Ah look who it is, young Romeo himself." Sirius whispered to Remus whilst giving the warmest of smiles to the second oldest Weasley child. "Charlie." He said good-naturedly, albeit quite a bit louder. "How goes it with the Dragons?"

"Grandly, as always." Charlie replied in amusemant, giving Sirius a pleasant handshake. Charlie was easy-going, Remus noted, that was a trait that Tonks also possessed in great amounts. Where previously Remus had only chosen Charlie for his age appropriateness, he suddenly noticed that Charlie had a lot to offer Tonks personality wise that would make for a good match. Lupin tried to feel pleased with himself, but for the life of him, he didn't quite understand the knot in his stomach that had suddenly appeard. "How're you Remus?"

"I'm well, thank you." The sudden stiffness in his voice he couldn't quite account for. For something that had been possessing his mind for many of weeks, he now found that he had very little interest broaching the topic of Tonks now. But sacrifices had to be made, he told himself.

Sirius apparently noticed Remus's hesitation, because Lupin could see his friend smirk infuriatingly at the exchange. He knew it would be a cold day in Hell before Sirius really understood and agreed with what Lupin was trying to do, but would it kill him to help a mate out every once in a while? As if to have heard his mental processes (which wouldn't really be much of a shock, the Mauraders always did have a close bond) Sirius picks up on where Lupin was going with all of this. In his regular gruff voice, Sirius manages to speak out the question that would have taken Remus hours to tactfully get to. Dammit, Remus wondered, why couldn't he have been born with natural abruptness. "So is there a lady friend in Romania, you know, one to do the cooking? Been thinking of getting one myself, that is if I can ever leave this hell hole."

Remus had to smile to himself, only Padfoot was manic enough to be able to ask about someone's love life without sounding remotely effeminate. It was as if everyone thought the escaped convict a little insane (for good reason), and simply knew that they could never really know what to expect from him.

If Charlie thought Sirius's question odd, he made no indication. Not that it suprised Remus, if he had Molly Weasley as a mother, he was sure he'd be used to constant questions about his relationship status too. Charlie however just gave the same pleasant smile-as if any situation that he wasn't wrestling a dragon was naturally a little underwhelming. "Nope. I deal with fire-breathing monsters for a living, last thing I need is one when I get home from work each day. Coincidentally, my landlady has taken pity on me and feeds me on a regular basis, no need to find myself a lady."

"But what if you could find one that doesn't breath fire?" Remus now piped, cringing slightly at the sound of his own weak, hoarse voice.

"Well they don't typically, Mate. It was a joke, _ha ha." _Sirius interjected with his pattented smirk that could make Remus want to kill him if it weren't for the fact that he had just helped him out. "Moony always was rubbish with women." He added for Charlie's benefit before giving Remus a cheeky wink.

"That's not what my Mum says." Charlie replied with a smile, disolving any possible tension. Merlin, maybe he and Tonks were long lost soulmates after all. That easy dismissal of Padfoot's jabs at Lupin was exactly how she would have done it.

"What do you think of Tonks?" Remus tried to ask slyly, but failed miserably. Instead of coming off disintrested, he just came off like an old codger-which wasn't too far from the truth these days.

"She's a pretty one, yeah." He mused thoughtfully. Remus had always been under the impression that Charlie was always a bit, well, slow. To his his pleasure, he found that Charlie carefully weighed out everything he said, which would go nicely with Tonks's perpetual foot-in-mouth syndrom. "You're a lucky bloke I think."

"Wait, what?" Remus stammered, quite taken aback. Shooting Sirius a death glance at the snort he let out, Remus regained his composure. "I'm sorry, I think you're misunderstanding me. I was more refering to how you felt about Tonks for-" Remus trailed off, his hand waving along as if it were to beckon the idea but to his chagrin Charlie's expression remained. He could tell that he was going to have to spell it out for Charlie, God help him. "For you. How would you like Tonks for you?" Merlin's beard, was this what he had to work with?

"Aren't you two dating?" Charlie asked quizically before apparently taking the uncomfortably long silence for reason to feel awkward. Remus watched, still stunned by the assumption, as the younger man began to carefully survey the ceiling, as if wishing it would fall upon him this moment as to rescue him from having to finish this conversation. Remus understood as much, he felt the exact same way. Sirius for his part, look remarkably calm, as though he did this sort of thing all the time. Actually, come to think of it, Sirius did do this sort of thing all the time, he had always been a master of bullshit.

"No." Remus said a little too quickly, his tone a little too severe. Though he knew that he was sufferring from some severe delusions, he never thought for a second that others in the Order had fallen prey to believing in an impossibility. "Why would you think we are?"

"Because she's always with you." Charlie replied uncertainly, finally letting his eyes flick over to Remus. "And you act, you know-" Charlie's eyes are pleading for a change of subject but Remus is far too interested to be classically merciful. This was all to Charlie's benefit anyway, Lupin didn't feel bad in the slightest. "-You know..._couple...ish._"

"Well, we're nothing of the sort." Remus clarified, although, not entirely enthused. For some reason, he didn't much like admitting he'd never have Tonks to himself. But it was not matter, it was better to get used to it now. "But, that doesn't mean she isn't a lovely young woman, er-" Remus trailed off uncomfortably, when Molly meddled, she made it look so easy, but now he was having his doubts. He considered himself one of the least persuasive people in Britan, if not the planet. He was sure that Charlie'd be fine at having a chance with Tonks, but now, he wasn't so sure. What in Merlin's pants was he supposed to say?

"A lovely young woman with a lot to offer a bloke like you." Sirius picked up where Remus had left off. Thank God for friends, Remus thought to himself. Whilst Sirius had made no attempt to hide his disapproval at this whole ordeal, he was paramount to any chance of success. God bless him, if this all worked out according to plan, he'd be Sirius's alcohol supplier without complaint for the rest of his life.

"You think?" Charlie asked in surprise, yet not at all displeased as he leaned against a bare hallway wall. Really, they probably would do well to have this conversation sitting down, but it was all happening at such an alarming pace that Remus had no time to get particular. As a heavy silence filled the dreary hall, Remus felt as though it was his cue to talk, but found himself speechless. He had been planning to say something, right?

"Did you know her much when you were in school?" Sirius asked conversationally, rescuing Lupin once again. Really, Remus was starting to feel as though he owed Padfoot a fruit basket.

"Yeah, a bit." Charlie shrugged with a stupid smile that Remus was slightly tempted to wipe off his face. Never before had the werewolf wanted something to both happen and not happen, both in great amounts. "She always seemed like a cool girl, but we were in different houses. 'Sides she'd a boyfriend, and I didn't have much interest in platonic female friends, I'm sorry to say."

"No judgement here." Sirius replied, apparently not even expecting Remus to try anymore. It was for the best in the end anyway, at least now Remus could get through this with nodding and smiling-though both probably looked painfully forced. "Here in the Noble House of Black we specialise in unrepentant womanizers."

"Can we go with partly repentant?" Charlie said with a charming grin. Dammit, he was charming. What the hell had he been thinking when he chose Charlie? This all seemed like it was going to work out! Oh damn...he meant for it to work out.

"To each his own." Remus managed to say through a tight grin. Sirius nodded at his friend approvingly, apparently proud at Moony's newly regained ability to speak. "So Tonks will be at the meeting tonight, and she's single and-"

Charlie's understanding nod was enough to discontinue Remus. Why say more than he absolutely needed to? "I'll talk to her, maybe she'll want to get coffee or something." The younger man stood there musing for a moment before looking curiously from Sirius to Remus back to Sirius. "Why are you two getting involved in all of this?"

"Tonks is the ray of sunshine that brightens my life, I only want what's best for my little garden flower." Sirius said brightly with mock enthusiasm. Remus shot his friend a grave look but if Charlie suspected anything, he didn't let on. Once again the anticipated insanity of one Sirius Black proved to work in the Mauraders' benefit. "She's been so good to visit me regularly, thought I could do something nice for her. Moony here wants the same thing."

"Okay, alright." Charlie nodded. "Erm...could I use your loo? Drank an awful lot of water today and didn't notice it until we were standing here."

"Sure. First door to the left." Sirius said congenially with a smile until Charlie was out of earshot before turning to his companion with a threatening glare. "Moony, if that prick shags my cousin and then bolts I'll hold you responsible and make no mistake, I will castrate you."

"You were so supportive of this just a moment ago!" Remus whispered indignantly, though internally he felt as though Sirius was probably right.

"Because if you're going to do this, you might as well do it right." Replied Sirius. "I'm just saying, if you're getting cold feet about this now, you could always ask Tonks if you could walk her home before he gets to her. No one has to know what went on here."

"No one is getting cold feet." Remus said with more conviction than he actually felt. "Its all going according to plan."

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of mate. You're really going to be okay with all of this if she turns out to go for Captain Dragon Wrestler?" Sirius asked skeptically.

Remus shrugged, not much feeling like flat out lying. "Nothing I won't get over."

"Lets just hope your right, for your own sake. Me thinks the lady might murder you if this doesn't go according to your sodding ridiculous plan."

"Padfoot, just-"

Sirius interrupted that train of thought with a glare that must have been learned from Lily Evans herself. "Moony, you tell me to relax, and I'll show you a few tricks I learned in Azkaban. You're a complete jackass, please tell me you've noticed."

"Not a jackass, just a Maurader." Remus replied with a smile that he was sure he didn't feel. He had to admit himself, being a Maurader had been fun, and this, this was anything but. But since when was setting the love of your life up with another man in hopes of holy matrimony fun?

**_An/ Any review for this section would be extra appreciated as I was much more sure of my writing in the first part than this one. Its here because I feel like it ought to be, but I'm still not sure my characterizations were spot on. If any one has any tips, I'd love to hear them. I'm actually pretty decent with criticism, so you need not worry about my feelings. I'm a big girl._**


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